Last week I gave you a break down of HOW your negative self talk is affecting your potential, and this week I’ll be giving you 5 steps to help you MANAGE your negative self talk!
If you haven’t read part 1 of this post I highly suggest you read it, here’s a link – How Negative Self Talk is Limiting your Potential (Part 1)
As a recap, here are the 5 ways negative self talk is limiting your potential:
- You Attract Fear
- Lower Confidence
- Negative Spiral
- Energies Don’t Align
- No Growth
Before I get into how to manage your negative self talk, I want to establish one point. Negative self talk is NORMAL, but the goal is to not let it control your life. The truth is, you’re always going to have some sort of negative self talk, which is WHY step 1 is acknowledgement.
This 5 step method is designed to help shift your perspective, and actually be able to channel your negative self talk to WORK FOR YOU AND NOT AGAINST YOU.
It’s going to help your negative self talk translate into action, motivation, productivity, and confidence!
5 Step Method to Help you MANAGE your Negative Self Talk
1. Acknowledge it
Wohooo, congratulations, if you read my last post, you’ve already done this! Step 1 is acknowledging that you have negative self talk, and understanding how it is impacting your life.
Think about it, when you acknowledge your negative self talk, you’re going to be able to pick up on how its intertwined with your life.
Prior to acknowledging it you may have let a thought like “I can’t do this, I don’t know how” slide. BUT now, I hope you realise that thoughts like this, attract fear, can potentially put you in a negative spiral, and misalign your energies.
So, every time you have a thought that is not serving you just acknowledge it. Know that this thought is just your negative self talk, and also know that you can shift it. I’m going to tell you how..
Practice this so you’re able to catch yourself before you’re sucked into a negative spiral.
2. Question it!
THE BEST WAY and I really mean the BEST WAY to handle negative self–talk is to QUESTION IT!
I know this seems a little counter-intuitive BUT trust me it’s magical.
Here’s an example to illustrate how it works:
Say you have a thought “I can’t workout today, I don’t have time and I don’t know where to start”
Ask yourself “why?”
You may come up with something like “I’m not the type of person who works out”
Ask yourself “why, and is that really true?”
You’re going to start thinking “I mean, I’ve worked out, so I am the kind of person who works out but I can’t workout today”
Once again ask “why?”
Now your brain is really going to wonder “I have too much work, I don’t have access to equipment etc” (These are your excuses)
When you’re making excuses, ask yourself “Is that true?”
The answer is usually NO! You can workout without equipment, even if it’s for 10 mins! Questioning your negative self–talk is going to help you realise how it may not be true. This realisation is going to motivate you to take action because you’ll no longer believe that thought.
So, QUESTION your negative thoughts constantly instead of just letting them slide. 99% of the time you’re going to realise that they’re either irrational or they’re not serving you.
Either way, you’ll be in a better position to make more informed decisions and your negative self talk won’t be able to control your life.
3. Consciously shift to positive self talk
Now that you’ve acknowledged your negative self-talk and questioned it, you can take it a step further by consciously shifting to positive self talk.
Each time you have a thought where you’re doubting yourself, think of a positive alternative.
For example, when you’re thinking “I’m not smart enough” shift to “I’m not smart enough, yet. I can learn what I need to!”
Adding a positive statement after a negative one will help slowly reduce the number of negative thoughts you have.
This trick has worked very well for me, especially when I’m anxious or trying something new. It’s also good to keep in mind that there are answers out there, for every question, and for every doubt. You just need to ask for them!
Consciously shifting to a positive self talk mindset will help you be more confident, and you’re going to break the negative spiral. So take advantage of this and shift negative thoughts to positive ones.
The other way to shift to positive self talk is to write down positive affirmations. It sounds silly, but there’s so much power in writing/saying positive affirmations. It will instantly boost your mood and help you be more positive!
You can fill out the form at the end of this post to get access to 30+ positive affirmations I use to boost self confidence! If you’re already subscribed to the newsletter just visit the Resource Library and enter the password I sent to you via email.
4. Learn and let go
If you’re feeling very overwhelmed by the negative self-talk, and none of the above steps are working for you – learn and let go.
Here’s what this means – learn what this self-talk is teaching you and then let it go because it no longer serves you. Your negative self-talk may actually be forcing you to be in check with your emotions, or learn from your mistakes, or learn to stand up for yourself.
Think about how your negative self-talk may actually be serving you! When you do this you’ll be able to take action and shift to a positive self-talk mindset.
Once you’ve been able to identify the lesson you’re learning, let the negative self-talk go! It’s done what it had to, you learned what you had to learn. Now, give yourself the freedom to let it go.
5. Accept Change
Sometimes when we’re struggling with negative self-talk for so long, it’s hard to know what it’s like to live without it. I want you to know it’s okay to accept CHANGE! We as humans have a natural tendency to stay in what feels more comfortable, and change is uncomfortable.
BUT when the change is positive remind yourself that it’s okay to accept that. It’s okay to be your own cheerleader through positive self talk, it’s okay to learn and let go of what doesn’t serve you, and it’s also okay for you to take as much time as you need to accept this change.
Everyone is different, so listen to your feelings and take your time to accept the change. I’m just here to remind you that it’s ok to do so!
You’re going to feel shifts when you’re able to tackle your negative thoughts, and these 5 simple points are going to help you do that. But, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, it’s okay to have some negative self-talk just don’t let it control your life.
Be kind to yourself!
Also, if you haven’t already, follow me on Instagram for more self care content! – My Self Care Shelf Instagram
Here’s to the start of your self care journey!