How to Manage Negative Thoughts and Build Self Confidence

by | Jun 1, 2020 | All Posts, Mindful Living

Negative thoughts are something that each of you has probably experienced in your life. I know I have! BUT HOW do you MANAGE these negative thoughts?

Lucky for you I’m going to give you a FIVE-STEP CHECKLIST which will help you manage negative thoughts and help you build self-confidence. 

When we have negative thoughts it’s usually coming from our EGO. So, negative thoughts affect your self-confidence subconsciously.

My definition of self-confidence here is – A person is truly self-confident when their EGO is SECURE and BALANCED, and unphased by other’s successes or failures.

If you can TRAIN your ego to be balanced and secure you will be more self-confident.

I have come up with this 5 Step checklist keeping in mind the connection between ego, negative thoughts, and self-confidence.

Step 1 Do a Social Media Detox

These days so much of our time is spent on our phones so I challenge you to do a digital detox.

Specifically, do a social media detox!

Delete all social media apps from your phone for ONE WEEK! Trust me when you’re back everyone will still be there. 

I think that a digital detox is so essential when it comes to managing negative thoughts.

Social media, although an amazing tool to stay connected, also leads to a LOT of COMPARISON.

It’s natural to compare yourself and your life to the perfect social media influencer life! It’s natural to want to be a part of that world – the one where everyone is perfectly tanned and fit, or constantly on vacation, or in the most epic healthy relationship.

(Don’t forget people only post about the happy moments)

Let me tell you a secret COMPARISON FEEDS NEGATIVITY! 

YES, you read that right when you compare yourself to people on social media you are subconsciously creating a negative narrative towards your own life. A narrative of a lack.

Thus, being on social media will feed your negative thoughts and emotions.

Now I’m not saying you should shun social media completely, but I challenge you to do a detox to realize how much of your time and energy social media sucks out of you.

When you do a social media detox you will be able to understand how it’s affecting you and your relationship with yourself.

Here’s a youtube video by Matt D’Avella which made me do my first social media detox – I quit Social Media for 30 Days

Which brings me to step 2!

 

Step 2 Dig Deeper and Note Down the Negative Thoughts You Have

When you are off social media for a week, YOU WILL HAVE A LOT OF TIME ON YOUR HANDS. 

Spend this time to dig deeper. Focus on your thoughts and note down ANY negative thoughts you have about yourself or your life. 

When you do this you will be ACKNOWLEDGING your negative thoughts and emotions.

And when you ACKNOWLEDGE  your thoughts you can PROCESS them.

Writing down the negative thoughts you have will give you perspective. Think about why you had this thought in the first place.

What was the TRIGGER?

 On that note, step 3 will help you process your negative thoughts.

 

Step 3 Check if the thought is REAL or if it’s an ASSUMPTION

When you have negative emotions they’re usually a fabrication of your EGO.

And your EGO is there to protect you no matter what! So if it has to it will create negative thoughts to make you feel better. 

So, once you’ve written down all the negative thoughts, you have to check and see does that thought have real merit or is it an assumption made by your ego!

For example – If you have a thought like “I can’t start my own blog because I’m a horrible writer”. If you got horrible grades in your writing classes or if you attempted to start a blog everyone told you that your blog wasn’t readable, then you have real merit for thought like that.

However, if you’ve never written a blog post or never tried to start a blog it’s an assumption. Because without trying something you’ll never know if you’re good at it or not.

Your EGO will assume that you’re a horrible writer so that it can protect you from the hurt in case your blog fails.

YOU have to be able to CATCH ASSUMPTIONS your negative thoughts are making about you or your life. 

When you do that YOU WILL HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE THESE THOUGHTS. You’ll know the thought is just an assumption so you can shift or wire your brain to think “I can start my own blog, it’s possible for it to be a massive success” instead.

 

Step 1, 2 & 3 will help you understand your negative thoughts and manage them, BUT following step 4 & 5 will greatly reduce the number of negative thoughts you have!

 

 

Step 4 Surround Yourself with Positive People

This is an important one! After you’ve done the work and have learnt how to sift through and manage your negative thoughts you need to find yourself a group of super positive people.

SURROUND yourself with people who ENCOURAGE YOU, SUPPORT YOU, AND LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY.

When you surround yourself with people who are constantly there for you and telling you how great you are you will be more confident.

Having this positive energy in your life will allow you to truly reach your full potential and be the best and most confident version of yourself. 

Sometimes it does take some external affirmations to help you realize that YOU are SPECIAL!

BUT DO NOT solely rely on these external affirmations for your confidence. 

If someone in your immediate circle is telling you you’re not good enough, or purposely making you doubt yourself see that as a sign that they are not meant to be in your life.

When you surround yourself with positivity you will be more positive. 

 

Step 5 Write Positive Affirmations

Do you remember how I said DO NOT rely solely on external affirmations?

This is your solution for that. Write down positive affirmations about you and your life EVERY DAY.

Just like negative thoughts when you write down positive thoughts you are able to acknowledge and process them. 

Writing down positive affirmations like, “I am loved” “I am worthy” “I am beautiful” “I am the best version of myself” “I know how to manage my emotions”, will help you be more positive.

Take the time out to write down JUST 3 AFFIRMATIONS every morning! 

When you do this you will be training your brain to think positively every morning. Don’t underestimate the POWER of this step!

You will be a happier and more self-confident person.

 

You can download My LIST of 30+ positive affirmations for building self confidence by requesting access to my FREE RESOURCE LIBRARY at the end of this post!

I hope that you’re able to take these steps to manage your negative emotions and be more self-confident. These are the steps I use to manage my negative thoughts and now I can confidently say I have trained my brain to be more positive.

Also, if you enjoyed this article you may like my blog post on How to Have a More Positive Mindset and Transform Your Life!

I want to conclude by saying:

KNOW THAT YOU ARE SPECIAL, YOU ARE LOVED, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, & YOU ARE WORTHY!

You are all of the above you just need to believe it. 

Here’s to the start of your self-care journey!

Cheers,

Disha

Fill out the form below to get access to 30+ Positive Affirmations to Boost Self Confidence!

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Aruna
Aruna
5 months ago

Very helpful steps and well explained !!

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